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(no subject) [Oct. 17th, 2005|01:01 pm]
Ay vida mia!
no solo el fuego entre nosotros arde,
sino toda la vida,
la simple historia,
el simple amor
de una mujer y un hombre
parecidos a todos.

Ah my life!
it is not only the fire
that burns between us,
but all of life,
the simple story,
the simple love
of a woman and a man
like everyone.

-Pablo Neruda

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(no subject) [Oct. 9th, 2005|05:50 pm]
Today Daniel and I took a tour of a small, intimate indoor chapel off of highway nine, near Lake Thunderbird. The chapel was composed of light, warm woodwork and huge windows overlooking a forest-like area. The reception hall was small and intimate and beautiful. The best way to describe the entire feel of the place is...intimate. I'm also very excited about the bridal room. It has a stained glass window and four vanities with low seated chairs and silver fixtures. It was incredible. The date will be some time in late June. Now on to the task of dress shopping and finding a photographer.

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(no subject) [Oct. 7th, 2005|10:43 am]
I'm getting married in Spring. Ideally, we would like to have the ceremony outside our house. I would like a honeymoon in a deserted cabin in Colorado or...some Maine island. Ha. Or maybe Mexico...even no honeymoon at all would suit me fine. I really look forward to registering at Target the most. Haha. Kidding, of course.

Everyone that wants an invitation to the ceremony from my friends list (or even not from my friends list), please drop me an email or a comment. I would also enjoy letters from friends. I have more time to answer them. Email me for my new address. Sorry there haven't been many updates lately. Most people who know me know I am content. To many it seems hasty. To me it is peace and contentment.

It's difficult to write while at work, but I will try my best...

There has been some tension between Daniel and I from feelings of uncertainty on my part. These feelings arise now and then, and lead to confusion, mild internal tumult, and then usually rest and eventual surrender. I do not like the way my mind works at times. I cling to emotions both past and potential. The mind feeds off these emotions and all the possibilities that could arise from my actions. He and I seem to want the same things out of life: children, companionship, independence, stability, peace, and most of all genuine love. Lately I have had a struggle with spirituality and how that is going to fit into my relationship with my children and Daniel. We have a common belief, but it feels ever-changing in me. It always comes back to the basic belief in the existence of a God, but the details never come into long-term focus.
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(no subject) [Sep. 28th, 2005|12:43 pm]
If I wrote of all that has changed in the last couple of months, this would be the longest post ever posted EVER. So, I will try to paint a picture with...pictures. This is my rendition of time and change, which lately has been infinitely refreshing and infinitely difficult to understand. I am happy. Really happy.

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(no subject) [Sep. 27th, 2005|02:59 pm]



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great nurse i am [Sep. 23rd, 2005|07:52 am]
Daniel got his wisdom teeth taken out yesterday. My mom took him to get it done, so I was expecting funny drug stories (funny things said, running into objects, etc..), but there were none. I went to his mom and dad's house to see him after school, but he wasn't there. They sent me to his house with gauze and an after surgery care sheet. I walked in to find him asleep with a trail of blood on his pillow and shirt. Poor kid. I stayed over last night to take care of him, which consisted of bringing him tomato soup and movies, and then falling asleep while he stayed awake most of the night. Great nurse I am.

I've learned not to do things by any preconceived notion of "right" or "wrong." Right and wrong only apply to how you feel about something in your gut. I've also learned that you should test your limits of comfort every once in a while so as to never get stuck in a comfort rut.
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(no subject) [Sep. 22nd, 2005|08:39 am]

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today [Sep. 21st, 2005|04:26 pm]

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(no subject) [Sep. 19th, 2005|11:28 am]
I thought I was going to delete this thing, but it serves as an outlet for a lot of feelings (usually feelings of which I want to rid myself). It has also caused a lot of trouble because some of the things I post can be taken in ways other than I intended them...and in ways I did intend them. But, in reality, the things I post are real and the feelings are there. I think Jon told me that once, to go ahead and post the things you feel because you do it for a reason. The things we whisper we really want to say aloud, right?

I have constructed a theory on why everyone my age seems more or less depressed most of the time. Modern America...that's it. How much hope can you have when things gnaw at you (loss, obligations, tedium) and there is nothing but a background of big-picture decay and confusion: on the news, on the radio, in billboard advertisements...missing children, beautiful kidnapped blondes, hurricanes, a negligent government, a big-business baboon of a president...combine that with the small day to day torments of existence (maybe I'm the only one who clings to that part) and it's enough to make anyone want to plunge into comfortable oblivion. A theory is just a way to cope with it, though. And that seems to be what everyone around me is more or less doing...coping with existence. Inevitably, though, theories and little bars and cages we construct around ourselves to try to make sense of this are useless. Or, then again, maybe this is just me...
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picture phone pictures [Sep. 2nd, 2005|12:38 am]

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