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El Fantasma [Nov. 30th, 2005|07:58 pm]
I skipped work today because Daniel and I started a really great conversation just as I was about to get ready to leave. Part of the subject matter inspired me to write a poem, in Spanish, of course, as most of my poetry has been written lately. Of course the poem loses a great deal of its grace in translation from Spanish to English, but I will provide a translation for my non-Spanish speaking readers.

El Fantasma

El fantasma me hace llorar-

Estoy siempre consada con el recuerdo.
Me frustran los filósofos y todas las cosas
vacías, solas.
Todo el cerebro, las dendritas, lóbulos,
sangre calentada, la alma pasada...
les colgan todas con este hueco.

Pero, ahora (horita), soy libre
de esta pena pesada, pero
solamente para la tolerencia
del amor, del tiempo,
y todas las cosas del aire,
del gran rescate.

The GhostCollapse )
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(no subject) [Nov. 29th, 2005|09:02 pm]

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PICTURES [Nov. 21st, 2005|01:51 pm]

masCollapse )
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POETRY [Nov. 21st, 2005|01:23 pm]
It Is Black and White

it is black
it is white

it is dark
it is light

it is blood
it is dust

it is shivering steel
it is rust

it is life
it is death

it is nothing
it is all we have left.

In a Running Car, Darkly Within

Now I am to marry
for a gentle reason

Season after season
I hope to regain those very few years
like a scar
spanning some hidden surface of skin.
In a running car, darkly within,
Now I am more careful with the pen.
I fear the words I form
out of shadow and subtle light.

Night growing out of night-
Very soon children
will ask about the vast
and empty colors of the past,
but better they never cast
joyless questions
to the empty, echoing earth.

-November 18

You Are a Well

Deep and endless well,
Never do I wish to reach
the bottom, the end.

Sound Does Not Travel in a Vacuum

Dead night's cold vacuum
Darkened yard or silent room-
sleep is a still tomb.
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(no subject) [Nov. 14th, 2005|02:55 pm]

-get married
-get my degree
-get a real job because I want to be home in the evenings!
-go to Mexico and/or Spain and/or South America for an immersion trip
-write more
-get a bachelor's degree
-get a master's degree
-go back to church or find out why i haven't been going

robotasaurus: HEY!
robotasaurus: i heard something about you.
Senorita Lyndsie: hey
Senorita Lyndsie: what did you hear
robotasaurus: that you are gay
Senorita Lyndsie: that im'ma gettin married?
Senorita Lyndsie: haha
robotasaurus: and getting married
robotasaurus: yeah
Senorita Lyndsie: getting married yeah
Senorita Lyndsie: not gay
robotasaurus: i know
robotasaurus: i mean t that you are gay b/c you are getting married
robotasaurus: who is it?
Senorita Lyndsie: his name is daniel
Senorita Lyndsie: he is hawt
Senorita Lyndsie: he is mine
robotasaurus: when?
Senorita Lyndsie: all the time
robotasaurus: i mean married
Senorita Lyndsie: haha i know ass
Senorita Lyndsie: june 11th
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(no subject) [Nov. 12th, 2005|10:23 pm]
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(no subject) [Nov. 9th, 2005|03:09 pm]
Deseo que la duda vuelva como una paloma;
Me fascina la tristeza simple de los niños,
pero la mia es demasiado pesada para llevar
Como El Neruda, quiero orinar en frente el mar...
Deseo escaparme de los zapatos sensibles
y la carga de nunca inocencia.
Cuando iba a la Belleza, veia
toda la triztesa de la humanidad
en cristal oscuro, en agua oscuro.
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Fitzcarraldo [Nov. 8th, 2005|07:52 pm]
Clinging for human comfort
against a world myself
In a world obscene
and full of asphyxiation
and fornication

I love it against my better judgment
through the transparent
eyelids ink, film, paint running:
This is all we can do
to articulate ourselves
to our existence

or else be condemned
as cows in the field.

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(no subject) [Oct. 31st, 2005|02:46 pm]

I am skipping class tonight to go trick-or-treating with Daniel and Hunter. Last night my mom and brother came over for dinner and stayed for some time. Daniel cooked some amazing chicken with a chipolte sauce and garlic bread. After my mother left, Daniel, Chris, and I watched the Simpsons and Mr. Show and spent the evening shooting the breeze, so to speak. The past month or so has been filled with glorious evenings of hanging out with friends and family and...shooting the breeze. We have slowly been adding details to the wedding via my mother, who has taken this wedding as her own pet project. We even have personalized candy favors and scrolls for guests. We found the thousand dollar dress I wanted for 250 dollars on ebay, but someone placed a bid higher than my mother's bid. She is enraged. Ha.

A strange sadness sometimes hits me after waking from dream, or when looking at objects that serve as reminders of the past. The feelings seem too sorrowful to bear at times, but I have done my best not to let them overwhelm what is good now. "I go through these feelings every once in a while. I know it is pointless but there is nothing I can do but let myself mourn when the feeling strikes." I now fully know the truth of this statement.


Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone;
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air;
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.

Rejoice, and men will seek you;
Grieve, and they turn and go;
They want full measure of all your pleasure,
But they do not need your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
Be sad, and you lose them all,—
There are none to decline your nectared wine,
But alone you must drink life’s gall.

Feast, and your halls are crowded;
Fast, and the world goes by.
Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
But no man can help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
For a large and lordly train,
But one by one we must all file on
Through the narrow aisles of pain.

-Ella Wheeler Wilcox
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IN CASE THE BIRD FLU KILLS US ALL... [Oct. 19th, 2005|04:44 pm]
In case the bird flu kills us all, everyone I have ever passionately or platonically loved, I meant it with every atom of my being. My god, did I mean it.
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